Second Chances

I'm working on something today. Yesterday. Tomorrow. Next week.

I started writing this post about forgiveness, but, to be honest, I'm still working on that. It changed to trust, and then when I really got down to it, what I want to talk about is trusting yourself. Grace. Second chances.

I've always been a person to trust, all in, from the beginning. I struggle with people who make you earn their trust and those who hold the world against you unto eternity. Life's too short for that. And, my memory is shit.

So I trust. I forgive, maybe too readily, because I believe that people do their very best with what they have in that moment. There may be some, but few people wake up in the morning thinking TODAY. TODAY I am going to be a piece.

No one is perfect.

There are times when I am guarded, or have to maintain a boundary. I think some folks define this boundary maintenance as only being able to trust because you earned it or not being able to trust because you earned that treatment. I see broken promises as a boundary violation and I don't much like to amend my boundaries, but I'm happy to show you trust, so you open your heart to it as well.

I work with kids and I have kids, so trust is a thing that we're working on. Every. Day. (Sometimes, multiple times). Some of you might be working on this also. Or, you have broken relationships, trauma in your own past, people who struggle with addiction, someone who has jumped all over your boundaries like a bouncy house - you know, those experiences that impact us in ways that make us want to build a fortress and sit in the middle of it, unscathed, because that's a safe place for our hearts. It's a lonely place down there, in that fortress, when you don't trust anyone. And, the fortress is your choice, but it's not your sentence.

Setting boundaries is a healthy way to both trust and teach. People won't know how to treat you, if you don't tell them. And, when you let someone in, you get an opportunity to teach - how to trust, how to love, how to be loved. Yet you have to wholeheartedly give that second chance, no strings attached, to make trust possible.

So, I challenge you. If there is someone in your life who you don't trust, give them a chance. Give yourself a chance, and a second chance, or maybe even a third one to get it right. Give your heart a chance to heal and that opportunity, that relationship, a chance to blossom. Go all in. You might be surprised how much trust you do have, when you stop hiding behind it.