Be kind. Rewind.

It is what I can call “the calm after the storm” for the week. We are all almost healthy, the work week is over, and I have had time to regroup and process what this blog means to me and the purpose it serves me and my heart.

I’m sure through the year I will have many opportunities to share more about me and how I found myself wanting to open up and put into writing my experiences, good and not-so-good, so that not only I could look back and see the process and progress of growth and acceptance of myself. To love me for ME. And I think to love me means that I have to look back as far as I can and my journey that got me to where I am today and what it is I have to learn and do to keep moving forward and doing it from a happier, healthier and optimistic place. But I hope that along the way I might be able to make someone else laugh, learn and love themself more too.

So here I am, being kind to myself and rewinding. Get it?

I will be the first to say that I am not unique or different for having days where my self esteem just really bites. And other days I feel like I just can’t get anything right. And on some days I wonder how I could possibly been born into the family I have. All of us have issues, at some point or another, with our appearance, our job, our family, debt, goals, you name it. But the older I get, the more I realize how much time I’ve lost worrying about all those things. I have spent too many nights letting my mind spin about things I couldn’t change. I lost a lot of precious time with my kids because I was obsessed with making memories too picture perfect. It was a dinner that would make Martha Stewart proud,  or a Pinterest-worthy birthday party that I was MIA in the details and not having the giggles with my littles.

This year isn’t going to be about a bunch of resolutions. It’s going to be about being kind to myself and doing the little things that add up to the big thing called being HAPPY.

You know the saying, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy?” It’s true. It’s hard not pass on feelings of anger, sadness, resentment, guilt, discontentment. You get the picture. And you know what’s even worse? It’s the moment when your littles see a parent who is unhappy, or family members argue, and they feel like they have to make things better or worse yet, like they did something wrong to cause the strife. Uffda! Okay, my Midwest Scandinavian is showing through right there isn’t it?

That’s where a lot of my memories start. Being the little girl who always felt she had something she had to say “sorry” for. When 95% of the time I had never done anything wrong. That little girl grew up to be the woman who felt she had to prove something to everyone else to be liked, even loved. To keep everyone else happy. To make everything perfect for everyone else.

Perfection is overrated. There’s never been a body size that was perfect that didn’t have hard work or sacrifice. There’s never been a perfect moment that may have also occurred during a missed opportunity. There’s never been a perfect relationship. I will just stop right there. That relationship is a Unicorn!

So my goal this year is to not have unrealistic goals. And, when necessary, I will rewind and regroup. I will be kind to myself. And the more I will love myself, the better role model I will be to my kiddos. And quite possibly I will start this amazing ripple effect for future generations.

Life is messy. Brain farts happen. And sometimes we fall down. It’s all part of the ride we get to have on this crazy earth. But don’t ever let yourself get caught up in perfection. There’s no such thing as perfection. There’s only such thing as greatness. Make your life great!