Ripple Effect

I’m sick. Again. And I don’t even know if it is fair to say “again” as it should probably use the word “still” instead. I still ache. I still have a cough. I still feel like someone filled my head and chest with sand and used the leftovers to throw in my eyes. And I’m still tired.

Yet, I fed the kids, got #1 to piano, ON TIME I should proudly add, then also to basketball practice. I replied to some pending emails, did the dishes and a load of laundry, put a puzzle together with #2 as we sang silly songs, and conversed with my guy before sending him to pick up #1. I folded laundry, wiped down the kitchen, packed lunches for the next day and checked backpacks. I completed bedtime routines and kissed them to sleep on their foreheads.  I sat on the bed, sighed, and wondered, “How the hell and I going to do this all again tomorrow?”

Us moms have elevated the definition and naturally the art of “multi-tasking” to death defying heights. We magically grow tentacles to comb a child’s hair while also maneuvering a necklace clasp and brush our teeth. We can cook dinner, answer a phone call and scan Pinterest for ideas for the school project that’s due tomorrow, simultaneously. Can I get an “Amen!”, my sisters?!!

So, why is it, that if we know we behold the God-given power to multi-task, a super power in its own right, that we don’t always use this super power for good? What is the fear of putting down whatever task is in front of us, just for one moment, one night, one weekend? We know we possess the ability to catch up. We’ve mastered turning the tool of multi-tasking into a game in our head. Oh, come on. I know I’m not the only one who will have a race against the clock to pick up the house and finish the grocery list with time to spare for the latest Netflix binge.

To circle back, my point is, even in our finest, most graceful or even not so graceful moments of “Momming”, where and when do we multi-task our self care? I manage to squeeze in the random Caribou drive-thru visit from time to time. Or late at night, I will catch a glimpse in the mirror and feverishly take five minutes to tweeze all the chin hairs that manage to grow overnight like I’m a friggin’ Chia Pet. But is it really self care?

Now, I admit, I get ridiculous jealous of the conversations I hear or posts on the Book of Faces that I see about women who take trips with a group of girlfriends, or a weekend getaway with their man. Hell, I’m jealous of the movie  with a sister. Or when I see a blog or know a friend who finished another great book, I’m shocked they don’t hear my jaw hit the floor when I embarrassingly wonder how?!?

Self care doesn’t have to be long or glamorous. It doesn’t have to be hours long to have a spa facial or a day long to complete a book. But it certainly can look like an early evening to bed to get much needed recovery rest with some Airborne, tissues and Vitamin C. Oh, did I slip that in there?

I bring this up, not because I’ve mastered self care. I’m so far from it that I need binoculars to see the writing on the wall. I. Stink. At. It. And the only way I will ever accomplish this goal for myself is to practice. Remember the Random Act of Kindness to myself promise? Yep! This is what I’m talking about.

And truly, I’m not trying to feed you a line of bullshit when I say, “this isn’t just about me”. It’s not fun to always feel tired, run down, sick. It’s not a thrill-seeking adventure when I’m dodging conversations with people because I’m not in the mood to talk to one more person. And I don’t always find joy in having the last word, just so I can try to end the argument with my family and get through the day without another fight or at least referreeeing one. I know you’re sitting there trying to call my bluff. I said “I don’t ALWAYS find joy” when it comes to having the last word. I didn’t say never.

Self care is an important tool to carry around in our tool box. And it’s not just a tool that is mommas should have. We all need to take moments to breathe...release...enjoy. I think we are just typically the last ones to pull the handy bugger out, when we reach for our tool box.

By loving ourselves, by caring for ourselves, we start this ripple effect. It is far stretching. And never ending. The kindness we show ourselves touches the lives of our loved ones. Those closest to us. They will feel the effects and there will be less stress even in them. This, the ripple continues on into their relationships and on and on. We send the love and care into the universe.

Okay, even I think that got a little fluffy at the end there. But I know you smell what I’m steppin’ in.

So take five minutes to read a few pages of the book you’ve been meaning to start, take an extra long shower, or (self preach here) go to bed early so you can get over the damn crud for once already!